Some of you may of known that yesterday was officially Self-Harm Awareness Day. I was debating to myself whether or not to write this post as it's not the most pleasant subject, however, I thought why not? This maybe happening to somebody right this second. This post could help save a life and spread more awareness even though there can never be enough awareness of something.
Have you ever doubted you're presence is not worth living for? Or the need to harm yourself in order to make yourself feel better? It's not healthy for you or the people that surround you. It's always best to talk about it rather than bottle it up inside, only you can turn it around. It's easy to say I know, as somebody myself who has experienced this I know that it's tough...
Self-Harm has become an issue in my life due to anxieties and stress within myself. I occasionally feel the need to cause pain to myself in order to toughen up. It's also because of my anger, I feel the need to blame myself for my actions, I need to feel the pain in order to release my anxieties & emotions. It's often rare I do this. It's a release of anger built up inside when I harm myself to make me feel better. I know this isn't the right way to go however, it's a quick and easy fix at the time, It feels right although I do regret it instantly after.
In these situations, I often feel worthless to myself. It's an easy escape from a situation. When I say an 'easy escape' I mean, it's an escape you strive off to escape the emotions and conflict you've caused. It's an easy way out. What sometimes manages to help avoid this, I often tell myself this is a coward's easy way out. You have to face the difficult situations in order to move on to the positives. I sometimes imagine to myself what my family would feel If I was no longer around and the heartbreak I'd cause. It's not worth it if you think about it. Sometimes you have to think this way in order to avoid the worst. I often feel relieved I didn't act on stupid levels and the fact I've put the people who care about me the most first. This helps to overcome your thought of suicide.
I've been in these situations many of times. The thought to take my own life or self-harm. This often occurs after a meltdown of mine. When I get angry. It can be over the most silliest situation, this is why I often think to myself was that worth it? I've been worried that I might choose to make that selfish mistake one day and they'll be no going back,
Most of times I've been dashed to A&E because I've taken an overdose of medication or purposely injured my arm.
I've got scars on my arms now, I think to myself I have to live with this for the rest of my life. The awful reminders of my dark times.
My family tell me countless of times that the more scars I create, the more worse it'll look. This is what I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. It'll never disappear.
If you're going through something similar to this and you're feeling low, tell somebody as leaving it with yourself will only make matters worse. Do it before it's too late.
Remember that you could be one slightest cut away from catching a vein. this may sound dramatic but it's not. This could happen. These are the realities of the worse that could happen. Don't do it, you're worth more in every way.
I hope this has made you swerve from making the worst decision of your life, Don't forget, there's always help and support.
Never think that you're worthless because you're worth more than what you think, believe me. Don't make that foolish mistake....